To answer rudeness in kind and to call out undeserved presumption.
In other words:
Get rid of the so-called friends that never think of anything but their own convenience. Age is not an excuse for being inconsiderate and a lack of consideration is going to be a strong indicator for termination of friendship.
But.
Are people who don't know that they are inconsiderate worth keeping? Should an effort be made to educate them on their grating qualities, or should contact simply be phased out of existence? I used to feel terribly when I didn't like someone, or someone didn't like me, but I'm finding that, at least in this one aspect, my hide is getting much tougher with age. My time spent socially is becoming exponentially more valuable, and therefore, I have less and less patience for those whose company I do not actually enjoy. For some, the line between enjoyment and irritation has grown razor-thin. What to do in such a case?
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4 comments:
One friend of ours disowned another because, among other things (as far as we know), they didn't stand up when his parents came in the room (Friend #2 and BF were staying with Friend #1's parents during a trip).
But he never said anything to her; just cut off all contact immediately (although it wasn't noticeable right away because everybody lived so far away from each other). She was shocked to discover he got married later that year and had a baby some five months later. It was around that point that she realized he didn't consider her a friend anymore.
If I were as close as they used to be, I'd feel a little betrayed (as I'm sure she did) by not getting an explanation. But each friendship/acquaintance has different ways of relating to each other.
Maybe you won't be burning any bridges to explain or go incommunicado.
BTW, if we do anything to annoy you enough to consider ending the friendship, please let us know!!
Believe me, I would love to say something, but it's not up to me, because they are not my friends. Also, how do you go about telling someone that s/he is an unpleasant, boorish lout? It's hard to say, however, whether the folk in question would even know they are disfriended without being specifically informed, because they only call when it suits them anyway.
It sounds like your friend's standards for disfriending are a mite low for my tastes...also, Asian people (am I right?!) are crazy.
WWCHD?
I agree, if they're not *your* friends, saying something doesn't feel quite a propos, but unless "someone else" is going to say something, seems like your best option is to take the high road on this one :)
Oh, and yes, Friend #1 *is* Asian!
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