Dummyhead

It might be disconcerting for someone to genuinely believe that the medical professional rooting around her mouth with sharp, whizzing instruments is a bit slow, if you know what I mean, but not me! My dentist is a charmingly nervous and attentive youngish guy who does a terrific job in all things, EXCEPT, he can never remember how much Novocaine I need. Even when I remind him. With my exact dose. What he does when I remind him is to exclaim fatuously at my self knowledge ("Wow, you really have done this a few times!"; "Oh, you know about the lip wiggle, you're a pro!") and then proceed to ignore me, giving me the dose HE thinks is appropriate. This has happened for the last three visits. Why don't I get rid of him? Except for this teeny, tiny flaw (and his slightly braying laugh), he's very congenial and has got mad technical skillz. Sadly, I've been to enough dentists to know the difference. And, it's an easy enough problem to remedy on the spot, as I wince in pain the moment he attempts to proceed. Inevitably, he exclaims again ("Wow, your teeth really ARE sensitive!"; Whoa, you really aren't numb yet!"), and then ponies up the rest of the sweet, sweet deadening juice. So I keep him.

This time, for example, I requested 2 ampules, citing the last visit where it took exactly 2 ampules to make me numb enough to work on. He agreed, with a smattering of the above exclamations, and then gave me 1.5 doses, thinking it would be enough. A few minutes later, amidst my my tossing head, whimpering, and body twitches, he stopped trying to Drill Into My Head, noting, "You're not even fully numb! Maybe only 75% numb!!!" Heh, you don't say...

(Incidentally, this is one reason why I knew that James Frey's "memoir," Million Little Pieces, was at least partly fiction. Dental surgery without numbing or being completely immobolized/ paralyzed simply isn't possible, because you can't hold yourself still enough to allow someone work at that scale, no matter your pain tolerance. Pull a tooth? Sure. It's quick and brutal. Actually root around and fill something? No way.)

Anyhow, proper quantity of Novocaine was given, numbing commenced, procedure completed, and cavity isn't showing any sign of implosion just yet (crossing fingers!!! I SO don't want to have another root canal!!). Also, numb face and furiously itchy nose (that couldn't be scratched silent!!) till well into the night. Just another day at the dentist.