The ballad of BADMAN

What would you do

if, when driving along

some f*cktard comes charging

to "right" perceived wrongs.

He cut ME off

and then sped away;

shot ahead straight forward

while I braked in dismay.

I followed more slowly

casually noting his plates

then turned to the left

moving on with my date.

My carmate, in passing

did indulge in some antics;

BADMAN then whipped around

looking more than just frantic.

He quickly caught up

and rode close to my back

brandishing a hammer

readying for an attack!

While stopped by the red

he pulled over alongside

leaned out of his truck

and screamed threats to deride.

His tone was vicious

his face was aflame

the hammer was THISCLOSE

and WE were to blame!

He peeled off in the night

triumphant and gloating

we stayed on our path, shaken,

and chock full of loathing.

The movie could not hold

our shattered attention*;

we did not want to go home

to make an unfortunate connection.

For this troubling incident

began right in front

of the complex I live in

and now I have to fear running into that stupid jackhole of an insane RUNT!!!!!!!**

************************************

And that is the story of how I spent several of the wee hours of Saturday morning at the police station and why I no longer feel safe in my own home. The crazy bastard is apparently a regular visitor at my complex, which is how I got the rest of his plates and was able to report something substantial to the (completely useless) authorities (their recommendation was to "stay away from people like that"). Like a BAD neighbor, BADMAN is there!!!!

* Though this might have had something to do with the fact that Pirates III, while spectacular and gaudy and rife with beloved and less-beloved characters, made NO SENSE WHATSOEVER as a story.

** Rhyming is stupid; BADMAN was/is a moderately large person.