LOL all the way

Current mood: still brings a smile to my face

My mother's favorite exercise can be loosely translated as "squeezing or wiggling the midsection," and is performed by twisting and turning while standing upright, preferably while walking around. This action works the abs (pronounced A-B-S) and is sort of like a standing crunch. When done in concert with others, it can quickly devolve into a floppy, dance-like movement.

In kindergarten, music class was great fun. The teacher played songs on the piano or record player (is that right? Can that possibly be right? I'm ancient!) and we kids would free dance to the music. No form, no structure, no rhythm (necessarily); just little kids jumping around, spinning, swaying, laughing...

When I walked into my gym class the other day, I saw a new instructor. Since it was the first class of the new year, that didn't faze me and I assumed that kickboxing would carry on as usual under new or substitute direction.

And then the flailing began.

Zhumba is described as an activity that allows participants "to dance away their worries." It's supposed to be a "feel-happy" workout that is done to "a fusion of Latin and International music." It is not remotely like kickboxing. In fact, it is a remarkable cross between my mother's favorite exercise and the wild, free dance from my childhood. It is one of the funniest activities that you'll see adults voluntarily participating in. In (somewhat) unison. The routines include such classic dance moves as:

• slap 'em on the a** while you ride 'em, cowgirl
• the classic pelvic thrust, a la the Time Warp
• frontin' shoulder thrusts from the early 1990s club scene
• a whole bunch of moves as seen in "My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding,"
• and lots of turning around in circles and jumping around.

I spent so much time making gurgling LOL noises that I'm lucky I didn't fall over with near-hysterical laughter. Belly laughing definitely makes an excellent A-B-S workout! I think I spent the entire hour with an incredulous grin on my face.

In addition to the general silliness of the dances, I was laughing the sheer awfulness of my own moves. I've got pretty much perfect rhythm, but no soul at all. I can move my body and my limbs precisely, at any fractional angle you could want. But curvy, sinuous, motion? Forget it. My hip rolling is rather awesomely laughable and definitely not in any way alluring.

So naturally, I'm going to try belly dancing this weekend...

;-)