Current mood: owieowieowieowie
WFT??!! is wrong with my back? I was walking along, happy like clam, and all of a sudden, my back completely falls apart! Right now, there is a sharp, lancing pain in my lower back that feels like angry gnomes are stabbing me with pointy sticks while laughing maniacally, with their beady red eyes dancing with mad anticipation...ahem, anyway. My entire lower half? She hurts. A lot. When I walk, the radiating pain feels like my hips are going to shatter. I've had back pain before, but usually for a good (or at least plausible) reason, with some buildup and warning. This? Is weird. Like nothing I've felt before (and really don't care to experience ever again. Are you listening, Pain Gods?). Is this what is it means to be old? 28 is MEAN!
(HA! Birthday me was such a happy, dreamy twit. THIS is what life is like! Bah humbug!)
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Bandit = me
*Sigh* what a wonderful birthday! (As I type, late into the night, at the office, working on the homework that I've neglected over the holidays, paying for the indulgent times I've had in the past few days.)
I'm very lucky to have so many people that care about me and I feel deeply grateful for my friends and family. Not only do they put up with "my birthday is the most important day of the year. To everybody! In the universe!" attitude mostly with grace and wry (and occasionally slightly mean, but I can't fault them on it, really, 'cause GOD I can be obnoxious) humor, but they are generous to boot! And yet, despite this year's gift pile being pretty much the greatest haul of all time, the most exciting element of the day was that I got to celebrate it on the actual day of occurrence. Outside the home. In no turkey context (or lingering aroma) whatsoever. *Swoon* My birthday has a sad tendency to be lost in the Thanksgiving brouhaha, so getting to celebrate with more than just family (not that there's anything wrong with that, but sometimes, you want non-family fussing over you!) is a rare treat. The last day-of celebration, as far as we could recall, went all the way back to my 17th birthday! In other words, far too long ago...
It was a lovely day, filled with (wonderful, fabulous) friends, fun, and food, little driving, and no drama. Perfection. Can't wait to see if the rest of 28 will follow suit!
I'm very lucky to have so many people that care about me and I feel deeply grateful for my friends and family. Not only do they put up with "my birthday is the most important day of the year. To everybody! In the universe!" attitude mostly with grace and wry (and occasionally slightly mean, but I can't fault them on it, really, 'cause GOD I can be obnoxious) humor, but they are generous to boot! And yet, despite this year's gift pile being pretty much the greatest haul of all time, the most exciting element of the day was that I got to celebrate it on the actual day of occurrence. Outside the home. In no turkey context (or lingering aroma) whatsoever. *Swoon* My birthday has a sad tendency to be lost in the Thanksgiving brouhaha, so getting to celebrate with more than just family (not that there's anything wrong with that, but sometimes, you want non-family fussing over you!) is a rare treat. The last day-of celebration, as far as we could recall, went all the way back to my 17th birthday! In other words, far too long ago...
It was a lovely day, filled with (wonderful, fabulous) friends, fun, and food, little driving, and no drama. Perfection. Can't wait to see if the rest of 28 will follow suit!
Monday, November 27, 2006
Musings from the road
Current mood: zoom zoom. yeah, I wish.
In no particular order:
In no particular order:
- Driving more than 1,200 miles in less than 1 week just too much, especially when driving it alone.
- Singing in the car is good. Singing loudly to country (the music of pain, yes, but curiously enough, also of driving) is better. Belting to show tunes (I favor Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat) is best, especially when accompanied by dramatic two-handed gestures that evoke mild to moderate alarm in those driving next to you.
- $10 in tolls for 10 hours isn't fun, but acceptable. $40 in tolls for approximately the same time/distance is not.
- F#$%^&* phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- I sing in the car a lot to keep myself company. Humming or mouthing along to new songs on the radio can be fun. It's a bit appalling, however, when you find youself proclaiming that I want to Smack That! or vowing that I doan' want no minute man! (though, can't help but agree here. I just might not want to share that with the general public quite so gleefully). Then I waffle around thinking, Hey, great bass to EW! What are those kids singing these days! and God, I'm old. And a prude. Yuck!
- My favorite part of driving is the Vroom! Vroom! acceleration after the tolls. Yeah, V-6, and not afraid to use it! I shudder (tremble!) to think what I would be like with a V-8 engine *dreamy sigh.*
- 4 hours is a mite too long to spend sitting in traffic in Maryland, especially at midnight on a Tuesday before Thanksgiving, and maybe, just maybe, the stress of it all could be enough to induce actual tears of rage and frustration.
- God, I need an EZPass. What's wrong with me????? Why don't I just get one already??!!
- The Big Dig was a seriously bad idea. Highways shouldn't look like crazy spaghetti.
- Yikes, I'm 28 and therefore OLD and yet, yay! my birthday is here!!!
- 4.5 hours from Long Island to home - now that's why we drive fast. Oh yeah, babee!!
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Reunion
Current mood: Can't, and don't want to, go back
Wow, misery - so not worth the drive. Poor turnout, wrong turnout, and um, interesting clothes (okay, that part was fun - leopard print!). Terrible food, few teachers, and crazy DJ (the Six Flags old guy is scary, not funny). Oh, and I'm still a spazz that can't speak coherently with "adults" (eh, outburst much?) without feeling like I'm in trouble. Not really the most productive use of my $, time, and anticipation (But I did get a nifty pen!). From now on, the old guard can gather on its own - on the up side, now I think we will...
Also? Being at (childhood) home alone (for the 1st time, I think) at night is weird and kinda spooky.
Wow, misery - so not worth the drive. Poor turnout, wrong turnout, and um, interesting clothes (okay, that part was fun - leopard print!). Terrible food, few teachers, and crazy DJ (the Six Flags old guy is scary, not funny). Oh, and I'm still a spazz that can't speak coherently with "adults" (eh, outburst much?) without feeling like I'm in trouble. Not really the most productive use of my $, time, and anticipation (But I did get a nifty pen!). From now on, the old guard can gather on its own - on the up side, now I think we will...
Also? Being at (childhood) home alone (for the 1st time, I think) at night is weird and kinda spooky.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Tired
Current mood: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, but not while driving...
In the past two weeks, I've been in VA, MD, KY, OH, IN, IL (x3!!), CA, DE, NJ, NY, CT, MA, and RI. HATE my car now.
In the past two weeks, I've been in VA, MD, KY, OH, IN, IL (x3!!), CA, DE, NJ, NY, CT, MA, and RI. HATE my car now.
Friday, November 24, 2006
T-day menu rundown
Current mood: Full! Pleased! Tired! Dirty! Kinda smelly! Buzzed!
Best turkey yet, according to me and the not-so-wee, filled, bellies around me. Table looked gorgeous, not too many leftovers, and lots of oohs and aahs. What more could a Thanksgiving day chef-general ask for?
On deck:
Turkey, 13-pounder, rubbed with scallions, onions, and steak seasoning, 1.5 sticks of butter under the skin, sprinkled with salt and pepper, 3.5 hours @ 325 degrees, 1st half with foil on. Verdict: Beautifully juicy, nicely browned skin, lots of butter juice. (Chinese people ate white meat! And liked it! Woohoo!)
Sweet potatoes, roasted in foil for ~ 1 hour, with plates to catch the drippy juices (only took three years of "Hey, what's that burning smell?" to remember to do this). Verdict: Good, not too soft or hard, could have probably used a little more time to get v. soft and gushy.
Mashed potatoes, one bag of reds, butter, cream, sour cream, chicken stock, salt and pepper, boiled then mashed. Verdict: Okay, not quite the creamy consistency I like, a little grainy. Gets cold very fast, but better with the "au jus." Maybe use whites or Idahos next year?
Mushrooms, steakhouse style, sauteed in olive oil with onions, garlic, sherry (well, rice wine), and finished with butter, salt, and pepper. Verdict: SO GOOD. Definitely stands up as its own dish and was gobbled up pretty much instantly. Dad made a face at the saltiness, but I noticed he didn't leave any on his plate. Next year make twice as much!
"Au jus," turkey drippings and butter, plus added ~ 2 cups of chicken stock. Still hard to capture, but worth every drop! Verdict: Barely enough to go around for dipping, even with stock addition! How did we do it before??? Highlight of the plate, absolutely essential. Stock did not dilute much; perhaps add a bit more next year to up the volume.
Green beans, sauteed with garlic in olive oil and "au jus," finished with toasted almonds slices. Verdict: Crisp even after 2 times in the pan to keep warm. Looks great on a white plate. Gone fast. Next time wait till last, last minute, so I don't have to reheat them.
Roasted (microwaved) chestnuts, scorched all to h*ll, but luckily with no burning smell. Maybe next time we'll get the timing right! Verdict: Chestnuts? What chestnuts?
Green and yellow squash, roasted, with sauteed onions, with olive oil, cumin, salt, and white pepper. Verdict: Cooked too long, veg got soft and released too much juice, a bit mushy, probably didn't help being reheated twice. Flavor okay. Not really a hit, but people were good about eating their vegetables, so mostly gone.
Antipasti - mushrooms, zucchini, olives, mozzarella, and red peppers. Thanks, Uncle Guiseppe's! Verdict: Big hit with younger crowd, vinegar probably a bit much for more asian (than say, me) folks.
Strawberry shortcake, with whipped cream and cream biscuits. Verdict: Instant classic, everyone likes, v. pretty, not too sweet. Cream biscuits in holiday shapes v. cute.
Apple upside-down cake, with vanilla ice cream, with sauteed apples, toasted almonds, and yellow cake "bottom." Verdict: Good but v. sweet, but great presentation and smelling like cinnamon heaven. Thanksgiving should always have something cinnamon coming out of the oven!
Next: What to do for Xmas?????
Best turkey yet, according to me and the not-so-wee, filled, bellies around me. Table looked gorgeous, not too many leftovers, and lots of oohs and aahs. What more could a Thanksgiving day chef-general ask for?
On deck:
Turkey, 13-pounder, rubbed with scallions, onions, and steak seasoning, 1.5 sticks of butter under the skin, sprinkled with salt and pepper, 3.5 hours @ 325 degrees, 1st half with foil on. Verdict: Beautifully juicy, nicely browned skin, lots of butter juice. (Chinese people ate white meat! And liked it! Woohoo!)
Sweet potatoes, roasted in foil for ~ 1 hour, with plates to catch the drippy juices (only took three years of "Hey, what's that burning smell?" to remember to do this). Verdict: Good, not too soft or hard, could have probably used a little more time to get v. soft and gushy.
Mashed potatoes, one bag of reds, butter, cream, sour cream, chicken stock, salt and pepper, boiled then mashed. Verdict: Okay, not quite the creamy consistency I like, a little grainy. Gets cold very fast, but better with the "au jus." Maybe use whites or Idahos next year?
Mushrooms, steakhouse style, sauteed in olive oil with onions, garlic, sherry (well, rice wine), and finished with butter, salt, and pepper. Verdict: SO GOOD. Definitely stands up as its own dish and was gobbled up pretty much instantly. Dad made a face at the saltiness, but I noticed he didn't leave any on his plate. Next year make twice as much!
"Au jus," turkey drippings and butter, plus added ~ 2 cups of chicken stock. Still hard to capture, but worth every drop! Verdict: Barely enough to go around for dipping, even with stock addition! How did we do it before??? Highlight of the plate, absolutely essential. Stock did not dilute much; perhaps add a bit more next year to up the volume.
Green beans, sauteed with garlic in olive oil and "au jus," finished with toasted almonds slices. Verdict: Crisp even after 2 times in the pan to keep warm. Looks great on a white plate. Gone fast. Next time wait till last, last minute, so I don't have to reheat them.
Roasted (microwaved) chestnuts, scorched all to h*ll, but luckily with no burning smell. Maybe next time we'll get the timing right! Verdict: Chestnuts? What chestnuts?
Green and yellow squash, roasted, with sauteed onions, with olive oil, cumin, salt, and white pepper. Verdict: Cooked too long, veg got soft and released too much juice, a bit mushy, probably didn't help being reheated twice. Flavor okay. Not really a hit, but people were good about eating their vegetables, so mostly gone.
Antipasti - mushrooms, zucchini, olives, mozzarella, and red peppers. Thanks, Uncle Guiseppe's! Verdict: Big hit with younger crowd, vinegar probably a bit much for more asian (than say, me) folks.
Strawberry shortcake, with whipped cream and cream biscuits. Verdict: Instant classic, everyone likes, v. pretty, not too sweet. Cream biscuits in holiday shapes v. cute.
Apple upside-down cake, with vanilla ice cream, with sauteed apples, toasted almonds, and yellow cake "bottom." Verdict: Good but v. sweet, but great presentation and smelling like cinnamon heaven. Thanksgiving should always have something cinnamon coming out of the oven!
Next: What to do for Xmas?????
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Ahem, I'm fine. And how are you?
Current mood: don't worry, be happy!
After I sneeze a couple of times (complete with face-covering and "excuse me" on my part), the woman next to me (who does not say "bless you" in any of its incarnations) looks over, stiffening slightly, and asks, rather challengingly, "Are you sick?" Her tone and posture are already blaming me for the potential ruin of her Thanksgiving, but I assure her that I'm merely reacting to the dander from the dog that has just left the waiting area. She continues, "but you sound sick. Are you sure it's just allergies? That dog was so little." (As if!) I try to reassure her that I'm very sensitive and she huffily replies, "oh" and turns away from me.
Gotta love the people. Let the Happy Holidaze begin!
After I sneeze a couple of times (complete with face-covering and "excuse me" on my part), the woman next to me (who does not say "bless you" in any of its incarnations) looks over, stiffening slightly, and asks, rather challengingly, "Are you sick?" Her tone and posture are already blaming me for the potential ruin of her Thanksgiving, but I assure her that I'm merely reacting to the dander from the dog that has just left the waiting area. She continues, "but you sound sick. Are you sure it's just allergies? That dog was so little." (As if!) I try to reassure her that I'm very sensitive and she huffily replies, "oh" and turns away from me.
Gotta love the people. Let the Happy Holidaze begin!
Wednesday, November 8, 2006
Ruminations on betrayal
Current mood: a little less shiny
Guileless. Transparent. Trusting. Naive, even. Not exactly the list of survival traits one would self-select in a cutthroat environment. Regardless, those are the traits that I'm stuck with. Luckily, despite living in the big, bad, world, I exist in a fairly safe and supportive environment. Which makes, however, intrusions on this security even more shocking and upsetting.
I tend to believe the best in people. I trust that people say what they mean, and will ask me for what they need and want of me. I assume that people either like, or at least do not dislike me, unless they are overtly hostile (though a little snark never did anyone any harm). While ordinary subtleties aren't exactly lost on me, sometimes the layered meaning is lost is translation and all I can see is the surface. Folks that I'm close to know this and learn to work around it, and sometimes use it for fun at my expense. No skin off my back; it's just the price I pay for being refreshingly (so sayeth I) oblivious.
In the workplace, due to some less than harmonious experiences, I've learned to actively seek feedback and make clear to supervisors that communication lines must be extraordinarily open. While I can learn to anticipate and predict certain requests, I much prefer simply being asked to do necessary tasks. I've stressed that I don't respond well to passive aggression (well, I did phrase it slightly better than that) and that letting me know immediately when I make mistakes or gaffes is far more effective than bringing it up 8 months later in a review.
I travel a lot in teams, so it's important that we all get along. While some of my coworkers drive me crazy on the road (driving hog! fussy food restrictions!), for the most part, I thought everything was going swimmingly well. I acknowledge that I'm the junior person on the team and that I'm still essentially and constantly in training mode, so I have no problems with mid-course corrections or instruction.
Which is why, when a person I thought liked me and that I admired very much (almost as a mentor) reamed me in a hotel hallway, complete with personal invectives and actual shouting, I was a bit more than nonplussed. Perhaps even devastated. I'd had no idea that anything was wrong, because she hadn't given me the slightest sign (the night before, at her suggestion, we went for a scenic drive and leisurely meal). Earlier that week, during my review at the home office, I'd found out that she'd had certain concerns - I thought we had addressed those as soon as we began our trip. Which made it worse, when I called in to our superiors and found out that her story had reached the roost first, complete with professional aspersions which weren't mentioned during the actual screamfest. To add insult, she'd also brought my boss into the loop.
I have no idea if she intended to set off the chain of disciplinary action that ensued. Since she was not a part of it, I can't be sure. However, I can say that I now view coworker relations with a more (at all!) jaded and cautious eye. Having never really experienced prior backstabbing behavior, I can say that it is shockingly unpleasant and unexpected. Maybe another person would have been more cynical and vigilant and at least unsurprised, but I'd never imagined that others would go of their way to make things difficult for me. I'd assumed that adults could be open, honest, and communicative about the thoughts and expectations (at least in a professional sphere. I'm not Pollyanna, after all), but I was most definitely wrong. This is a lesson that I'm very sad to have learned.
Update: While the principals involved agreed to keep the matter quiet within the loop, I just found out that another member of our group knows about (and was surprised by) the incident, and the only person who would have told was...
Guileless. Transparent. Trusting. Naive, even. Not exactly the list of survival traits one would self-select in a cutthroat environment. Regardless, those are the traits that I'm stuck with. Luckily, despite living in the big, bad, world, I exist in a fairly safe and supportive environment. Which makes, however, intrusions on this security even more shocking and upsetting.
I tend to believe the best in people. I trust that people say what they mean, and will ask me for what they need and want of me. I assume that people either like, or at least do not dislike me, unless they are overtly hostile (though a little snark never did anyone any harm). While ordinary subtleties aren't exactly lost on me, sometimes the layered meaning is lost is translation and all I can see is the surface. Folks that I'm close to know this and learn to work around it, and sometimes use it for fun at my expense. No skin off my back; it's just the price I pay for being refreshingly (so sayeth I) oblivious.
In the workplace, due to some less than harmonious experiences, I've learned to actively seek feedback and make clear to supervisors that communication lines must be extraordinarily open. While I can learn to anticipate and predict certain requests, I much prefer simply being asked to do necessary tasks. I've stressed that I don't respond well to passive aggression (well, I did phrase it slightly better than that) and that letting me know immediately when I make mistakes or gaffes is far more effective than bringing it up 8 months later in a review.
I travel a lot in teams, so it's important that we all get along. While some of my coworkers drive me crazy on the road (driving hog! fussy food restrictions!), for the most part, I thought everything was going swimmingly well. I acknowledge that I'm the junior person on the team and that I'm still essentially and constantly in training mode, so I have no problems with mid-course corrections or instruction.
Which is why, when a person I thought liked me and that I admired very much (almost as a mentor) reamed me in a hotel hallway, complete with personal invectives and actual shouting, I was a bit more than nonplussed. Perhaps even devastated. I'd had no idea that anything was wrong, because she hadn't given me the slightest sign (the night before, at her suggestion, we went for a scenic drive and leisurely meal). Earlier that week, during my review at the home office, I'd found out that she'd had certain concerns - I thought we had addressed those as soon as we began our trip. Which made it worse, when I called in to our superiors and found out that her story had reached the roost first, complete with professional aspersions which weren't mentioned during the actual screamfest. To add insult, she'd also brought my boss into the loop.
I have no idea if she intended to set off the chain of disciplinary action that ensued. Since she was not a part of it, I can't be sure. However, I can say that I now view coworker relations with a more (at all!) jaded and cautious eye. Having never really experienced prior backstabbing behavior, I can say that it is shockingly unpleasant and unexpected. Maybe another person would have been more cynical and vigilant and at least unsurprised, but I'd never imagined that others would go of their way to make things difficult for me. I'd assumed that adults could be open, honest, and communicative about the thoughts and expectations (at least in a professional sphere. I'm not Pollyanna, after all), but I was most definitely wrong. This is a lesson that I'm very sad to have learned.
Update: While the principals involved agreed to keep the matter quiet within the loop, I just found out that another member of our group knows about (and was surprised by) the incident, and the only person who would have told was...
Wednesday, November 1, 2006
Shake, shake, shake
Current mood: kind of ooky
Heh, I'm reminded of the evilness of the pure sugar infusion that can result from consuming an entire bag of Chewy Spree. Yes, unfortunate things can occur when too much of one sugar item is eaten. However, when you mix things up and consume many types of sugar (cake, cookies, chocolate, and sour candy), all is well. At least, that's my theory for today, as I suffer the unpleasant, but generally benign (and well-deserved) aftermath of Sugar Tsunami 2006. Hopefully, I won't need to do more than feel guilty and apologize to my stomach (and nervous system).
Since I couldn't sleep, for obvious reasons, I decided to watch one of the many library movies that I had hanging around. As much as I like Liam Neelson, I think Kinsey was a bit of an odd choice for Halloween night. However, I have to say that I really enjoyed the movie, strange swinging couple behavior and all. The "Fuller Brush," sex-talking boys were amusing, especially Chris O'Donnell, looking very clean-cut, young, and recently McVetted and yet being kind of a nasty (in the highly-sexed way) character. Some of the sex questions were silly, but mostly they were funny and a bit heartbreaking. It's sad to think that we haven't progressed all that much since that era, how people are still not being particularly well educated about their own bodies, and how others are still fighting tooth and nail to keep it that way. Sigh. Sugar deflation...
Heh, I'm reminded of the evilness of the pure sugar infusion that can result from consuming an entire bag of Chewy Spree. Yes, unfortunate things can occur when too much of one sugar item is eaten. However, when you mix things up and consume many types of sugar (cake, cookies, chocolate, and sour candy), all is well. At least, that's my theory for today, as I suffer the unpleasant, but generally benign (and well-deserved) aftermath of Sugar Tsunami 2006. Hopefully, I won't need to do more than feel guilty and apologize to my stomach (and nervous system).
Since I couldn't sleep, for obvious reasons, I decided to watch one of the many library movies that I had hanging around. As much as I like Liam Neelson, I think Kinsey was a bit of an odd choice for Halloween night. However, I have to say that I really enjoyed the movie, strange swinging couple behavior and all. The "Fuller Brush," sex-talking boys were amusing, especially Chris O'Donnell, looking very clean-cut, young, and recently McVetted and yet being kind of a nasty (in the highly-sexed way) character. Some of the sex questions were silly, but mostly they were funny and a bit heartbreaking. It's sad to think that we haven't progressed all that much since that era, how people are still not being particularly well educated about their own bodies, and how others are still fighting tooth and nail to keep it that way. Sigh. Sugar deflation...
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