Current mood: Someday you WILL be clean!
I like to try to be self-sufficient and energy-conserving whenever possible. These days, that includes walking to places that are remotely close by (which must defeat a hefty dose of late summer laziness that has overcome me) and doing more things for myself in the home, such as hand-washing delicate clothing, nail care, etc.
A friend has pointed out that this approach doesn't maximize my time utility (i.e., counting how much I could have been paid for that hour, had I been working). My dad actually seconds this in a class-conscious way, telling me that, since I'm now a "professional," I should pay others to do distasteful or boring chores, such as cooking and cleaning. This makes me think uncomfortably of Jane Austen books where people only participate in such activities that are suited to their "station," and makes me both giggle and groan, because that's exactly what my father, child in a British-colonized land, means. Also, I don't really think of all my time as "time I could have been making $," so it doesn't really bother me that I could more efficiently pay someone else to do my chores. There's an odd, peasanty, DIY streak I have that takes pride in trying to do things for myself. Even if those things don't come out very well.
Anyway...this weekend I thought it would be entertaining to wash my car. I've never really tried this, but I've seen people washing their cars at my housing complex and I wash dishes all the time, so therefore, piece of cake, right? Armed with a big sponge, a bucket, a chair to stand on, and some car detergent (Is this stuff really that different from other types of detergent? Why do we have so many different kinds of detergent available? Isn't it all just soap?), I drove over to the car washing station and set up shop. It was rather warm out, so playing with the hose and foam was kind of fun - at first.
My car is white, I drive on the highway quite a bit, and I have to park at home under a big tree, so it's usually pretty grimy from bugs and birds. (Whose idea was it to get a white car?! Stupid white car!!) I was dutifully scrubbing and scrubbing, bottom to top, with little effect. Even with the protective layer of dirt removed, the car wasn't noticeably cleaner. It was as if, bugs having sacrificed their lives to make those stains, created permanent monuments to their glorious deaths. Same for the "temples" of bird, um, "essence." (Ew. Washing a car is nasty, yo!) That crap (literally) would not come off!!! And then there was the trifecta of water, exposed skin, and heavily breathing (scrubbing is hard work!) human. Bing - instant mosquito attractor! It's hard to concentrate when you're constantly paranoid that horrid little suckers are landing on you. So, on occasion, I was wildly spraying the hose and doing the swatting dance, trying to chase away the mosquitoes. Unfortunately, as I tried to spray them away from my head, I got my ear instead. AEEEEEEIIIIIIIII!!! (And lots of swearing, which wasn't really well received at the pool, because it was full of kiddies and moms and definitely within hearing distance.) For the record, pressurized water cannon to the ear = very bad.
I had intended to climb onto the chair to scrub the roof of the car. Except, when washing bottom to top, as instructed, you're covered with foam and quite wet by the time you reach the roof. At this point I was at least sensible enough not to attempt to wash the roof - I was already slipping and sliding in my flip-flops on the ground! Too bad that left a wide more-dirty strip at the very top of the car, where I can't reach. Ah well, no one looks at the tops of cars.
I guess that wet and soapy girl, while in reality is just dripping and itchy, with soap-stung eyes, seems to be great entertainment for the neighborhood. Several cars drove by more than twice. (Seriously, stop and help, or go away. I'm covered in bug guts and bird poop, people!!!)
Verdict: 5 bug bites, not fun, aching ear, icky neighbors, and car still crusty. Not my finest hour. Car wash, here I come!
No comments:
Post a Comment