Gym musings

Current mood: lazy

Why do girls wear thongs to the gym? I'm a huge advocate of thongs for day and nightwear, but I firmly believe that the gym, especially in classes that involve a lot of stepping action or yoga poses, is not place for the increasing ubiquitous thong. (And I'm speaking from experience, not blind speculation. Those suckers are uncomfortable if you're doing anything that requires full-body movement.) Frankly, (because I can't mind my own business) it's distracting!! Unless, of course, the aim is to attract attention. Here's how I imagine it:

The Boys: Wow, check out that thong! It's riding higher and higher on her...(loses concentration and falls off the treadmill. SPLAT!)(Note: This is something I would like to see, rather than an occurrence I've personally witnessed.)

The Girls: God, how can she wear that thing? It's totally in my face as we jazzercize and must be riding up like crazy! And lace itches!! Seriously??!! Everyone knows that it's more comfortable to just go commando at the gym! Little Miss Juicy Couture just wants to show off...(snark, b*tch, whine, anything to take my mind off the workout).

(Yes, this is how I amuse myself at the gym, since I, unlike every other person in the exercise world, do not own a personal musical listening device. Until recently, I had a circa-1994 walkman that I dropped one time too many. It's OK, as I now watch the TVs by reading the closed-captioning and no one looks at me strangely when I giggle inappropriately, as they are all lost in their own sweatin' mix.)

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A while back I was in a class where one of the women brought her child to what? Observe? Hang out? Be punished by being trapped in a room full of smelly adults voluntarily held at the mercy of a too-perky instructor? I felt badly for the poor mite (no idea how old she was. Maybe 7? She was about yea big. The size/age correspondence of children sort of mystifies me.), who was just sitting along the classroom wall, sad and bored and occasionally shooed away when she tried to approach her mother. Then I thought of all the times parents have to wait and watch on the sidelines, zoo-like and bored out of their gourds, while their precious poppets finish music, horseback riding, karate, scouts, sports lessons, etc....and applauded the mother's approach to fair turnabout. Until, of course, the child started running around the room to alleviate her boredom. A running creature without a firm grasp of personal space is not really what you want to have around while you're punching and kicking. Then again, it could have been an opportunity for her to learn a valuable lesson, as the mother did nothing to restrain her errant offspring...

Who is to blame? Kids aren't designed to have an attention span for sitting quietly and doing nothing while others have "fun", and parents must be exhausted from supervising their children every waking moment. Either way, I don't want this particular drama to be played out in front of me. PLEASE, leave your kids at home!! This is one of the last adult-only (not gross) zones left standing!!!

Heh, strangely enough, I have no desire to work out today. Perhaps thinking about the gym is like going to the gym? Must explore that thought...